If you can't beat 'em...

In my quest to make a little extra money, I read a lot of blogs, forums (fora?), articles and adverts.  I tend to read through it all because who knows, maybe there’s some little grain of truth in there and I’ll actually be able to make some money.

There are some phrases however, that really set the alarm bells ringing.  (Actually, Admiral Ackbar pops into my head shouting “IT’S A TRAP”, but essentially the same thing.)

If I see someone shouting that something is “FREE”, in capital letters, over and over again, I start to wonder how much it’s going to cost me.  When something is described as a “secret”, I have to wonder why you’re offering to share it with strangers on the internet.

Well, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Here are some of the fantastic secret business opportunities that will allow you to make £££s from home in just a few minutes a day with no experience for FREE* with no selling** involved.  Places are limited, so sign up immediately.  No time to think or Google anything, just rush straight in.

*Except for the fees

*You won’t have to sell anything, buy you may need to convince people to buy stuff.

Amazing opportunity 1: Money for Old Rope

I bought this piece of old rope last week for £20.  I’m now offering to sell it to you for £100.  That’s a 400% profit in just ONE WEEK!

All you need to do is wait a week, then find someone to buy it from you for £500 and you’ll have made 400% profit in ONE WEEK too.  It’s really that simple.

Then, if you’re smart, you’ll come back to me and buy another 5 pieces of old rope and repeat the process, for a total profit of £2,400 in just TWO WEEKS.

Supply is limited, so hurry!

Amazing opportunity 2: Self-assembly air guitars

This is your opportunity to get in on the ground floor of my fantastic new business enterprise.  Work from home as much or as little as you like and earn £££s in your spare time.

Have you ever noticed how cool people look when they’re playing the air guitar?  Would you like to be cool?  Well now you can, with your very own air guitar!

For just £50 I’ll send you a flat packed, self-assembly air guitar kit.  Once assembled, you can sell it on for £100 with no upline commission to pay!

Alternatively, you can keep it for yourself and use it as the basis for your own fantastic business.

So how does it work?  Well, once your friends see how cool you look, they’ll want to be cool too and you can help with that.  As a licenced air guitar distributor, you can supply them with all the air guitars they’ll need and you’ll receive a 10% commission on every sale!

It gets better.  If you recruit your friends as distributors, you can also receive a bonus 10% of everything they earn, including bonuses from people they recruited and so on ad nauseum.

Don’t have any friends?  Don’t worry, you soon will now that you’re a cool air guitarist!

You get to be cool and make money.  What have you got to lose?

**As a bonus for the first 20 applicants, you’ll receive free instructions on how to play the dirty trombone!**

Amazing opportunity 3:  Become a minister of the Church of the Almighty Dollar

Many people already worship the Almighty Dollar, but none of it is organised and worse yet, nobody is cashing in on all that worship, which is clearly an affront the the Almighty Dollar itself!

There is so much in the world that is sinful and much of that stuff is fun, which is why so many people sin.  Fortunately, the Dollar is very forgiving - for a price.

Did you give in to the temptation of chocolate? That’s a sin.

The good news is that the Dollar will forgive you for the low, low price of just £2 (paid to a licensed minister).

Now this pay-as-you-go redemption could prove expensive, but fear not!  The Dollar is not only compassionate, but also efficient.  For the bargain price for just £9.99 a month, you will be pre-forgiven for all of your chocolate-based sinning.  Then you can enjoy chocolate guilt-free every day of the week!

Chocolate is just one example.  So many sins are forgiveable for the right price.

As a special introductory offer, I'm looking to ordain 20 new ministers.

After you receive your training, you’ll be able to sell forgiveness too!

Book your initial training now for just £199 and we’ll throw in certification on any two sins of your choice for FREE (usual price £49.99 per sin)!

The world is so full of sin, your earnings are limitless!

So, there are the three greatest deals you’ll ever see.  Who’s in?